When I did lose weight, it was for the wrong reasons. I wanted to “look good,” which meant being thinner, so the weight loss never stuck. When I retired, it made me so sad to read through my journals and see that I had, in the past, often written what I weighed at the top of the page. It also made me angry that I lived in a culture that made me feel like I had to hide my body. So I decided to stop worrying about my weight and eat whatever I wanted. The last third of my life, I figured, should be about joy, and eating certain things certainly gave me joy (gumbo, beignets, any kind of candy). If I wanted some jellybeans, by god, I would have an entire bag of them! Sugar in my coffee: YES! Ice cream every night with my husband, YES! I knew I was gaining weight though I refused to look at the scale or at my body when I passed by a window or a mirror. My clothes were getting really tight, and some didn’t fit anymore.

So what, I thought. Until I didn’t think that. I started to have very bad pain in my knees. It was so bad I couldn’t walk farther than a few steps without it hurting. It even hurt at night. I could hardly sleep because of the pain. I visited several doctors and had several xrays. They diagnosed arthritis. It would never get better, one doctor told me, but there might be ways to keep it from getting worse. I had steroid shots in my knees and several other kinds of medications, none of which helped. I had to stop doing yoga because all the poses hurt.

No one mentioned that maybe if I took some weight off it would lessen the pain in my knees. But it made sense to me. I got on the scale. I weighed 167 pounds. I decided I would stop adding sugar to my coffee and stop eating any other kind of processed sugar. In a couple weeks I had dropped ten pounds. I joined Noom in April 2022, just to have some accountability, and started writing down everything I ate. I got a personal trainer. I started doing yin yoga. Over a period of months I worked up to walking 8500 steps a day. The pain in my knees subsided and finally disappeared completely. It didn’t hurt anymore to pick up my grandchildren.

I felt healthy and I was completely pain-free. My husband joined me in walking at least 8500 steps a day, even when it was raining.

I weighed myself today, and have reached my goal weight of 135. Now comes the challenge of staying healthy.